Speaking Up (The REAL Reason Why We Need to Do This More)

Speaking up can feel scary, when we know ahead of time that our beliefs and views vary from the majority opinion. So often we DON'T speak up, because we do not see a point in it. We believe that if we speak up, and it does not create change in the people who hear us, that we have somehow wasted our time. But, what if I told you that speaking up has a much more powerful reason behind it? What if I told you that speaking up this year, with a new objective, could just change the way you use your voice forever? Would you want to hear about it?

Listen in, because I have a message for you.

Enjoy!

Transcript

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This is the authentic life connection podcast episode number 164. Welcome to the authentic life connection podcast. I'm your host, Seth Lusk. I'm a master certified life coach, author, personal trainer and nutrition specialist. For over a decade, I've been helping people with their dreams and goals for their life and health. I spent many years watching people get frustrated with their journey in life and giving up on taking actions towards their goals. So I dug in deep to find answers to why so many of us face this same frustration and struggle in life. So in this podcast, we're gonna dive in deep on topics surrounding what it means to consistently live a fulfilling and authentic life, where you are unstoppable and taking action towards your dreams and goals. So the only question is, are you ready to start living your most authentic and fulfilling life once and for all? Then let's get started. Shall we? Hey, everyone, welcome back to the podcast. For those of you listening in for the first time welcome, welcome. He picked a great episode to join in on I am going to be adding to last week's episode this week, I have a little bit more that I wanted to clarify about what I spoke about last week, so if you did not listen to last week's Podcast, episode number 163. So you want to make this year different than I would say, go back and listen to that episode first. So that this episode makes sense. And yesterday, or last week, in the podcast, I talked with you all about the importance of stepping up and being willing to pay our dues, and choose our discomfort in order to create something for the world to contribute something to the world, and to leave something behind for future generations, instead of as leaving just a huge debt for them to pay because we are unwilling to be uncomfortable and to even choose to be uncomfortable for even a small amount of time, simply because of the fact that we now have it available to us to chase comfort 24/7. And I talked with you all about how I thought that was really telling of our generation that this is, you know, the first time in history in which we can literally choose to chase comfort 24/7. And we're kind of showing our asses because that's exactly what we're doing. We're not willing to put in the work anymore. And we feel entitled to ease and to comfort and to pleasure. And so many of us are just surviving lives that were handed to us by seeking out pleasure during our quote unquote, downtime or free time when we're not working or doing something very inauthentic for us that we're only doing because someone told us that we should be doing it. Or it's a job that we should have because it's a good job, and everyone else says it's a good job, and they should be proud of it. And they should chase the. So so many people are so busy surviving in authentic lives, that when they have any downtime or free time that time is spent instead of building something that's true for them and good for them that they want to contribute to the world. Instead, they spend that time just trying to numb out of their life, with food, with alcohol, with the internet, with television, Netflix, whatever shopping, whatever your your choice of dopamine hit is that you choose when you want to just check out of your life. And forget the fact that you're simply surviving a life that you are not happy with, and that you're doing nothing to create a life that you actually want, because you're not even clear on what it is that you actually want. So one of the things that I talked about last week was I made sure that I was very clear that one of the ways that we can pay our dues, is by speaking up in situations where we feel conviction, but what we feel convicted about is not going to be a popular opinion. It's not going to be so well received by the people around us, our friend groups, our family groups, our social networks, maybe we already know ahead of time these people are going to disagree with this, but we feel so convicted that, you know a value of ours is being stepped on and forgot about and we want to speak up about it. And so many of us don't do that. And inevitably, when I talk about this with people, when I talk about speaking up, what I notice is this the same pattern comes out it's you know, extremes, it's either one extreme or the other. Either we don't speak up and we just go with the flow quote unquote YOLO just enjoy life and, you know, numb out when you can, or people go to the opposite extreme and when they speak up, they're not just speaking up. They're like trying to force people to do what it is that they believe is right. And this I felt like I needed to clarify this this week because I know so many of you all out there are either in this position where you're like, you know what, I've tried speaking up before it doesn't do anything, and there's no point and bla bla bla bla bla and then there are the Those of you out there that like when you speak up if if people don't immediately jump to Oh, yeah, you're right and start doing what you believe, then you feel like you're doing it wrong or that there's no point in it. And I feel like it's really important that we get clear on why it is that we want to speak up. Because the point is not to convince people to do what we say. And I know some of you all are like, Well, why do I speak up? If no one's going to do it? I say what's the point in speaking up? So I want I want to be clear on that there's so much more that takes place when we speak up than just convincing people to do what we say. And I know that throughout history, we've had so many examples of this, where what we call a leader is someone who forces people to believe and do what they say, we've seen the church doing it and so many, you know, the whole entire reason that the United States of America was created is because the colonies are the people that moved to the US, one of the biggest reasons was freeing themselves from the oppression of the Christian church in England. And then of course, we just recreated it here with puritanism and how that influenced so many other forms of the Protestant faith in the United States. And now we have Southern Baptists and Methodists and Presbyterians and all these different, but the truth of the matter is in the US, the Christian faith is the predominant faith. And I've seen this religion used so many times, to force people who don't believe in that religion to act in a certain way that makes people that do believe in that religion feel more comfortable around them. And because of this, we get this idea in our head that when we speak up, the point is to get a posse behind us large enough that we can also force other people to do what we say, to do what we believe is right, that we feel comfortable when people act in this certain way. And I want to encourage you all, to break that pattern, and see that there's so much more that is possible to come out of speaking up than just other people doing what you say that I get that we've been taught that that's the point that's the sign of a leader is when people do what we say, but that's not a leader, that's a dictator. Leaders don't need to use fear, intimidation, and numbers of people and you know, ostracizing people, alienating people, they don't need to use that to force people to just do what they want them to do, so that they can be quote, unquote, in the group and be safe. True leaders are able to inspire people to believe what they believe is true and right, and to cooperate with other people that have different beliefs, and what is true and right, but to work together towards a common goal. That's the true mark of a leader, not forcing everybody to do the same thing and believe the same thing, or even to be doing the same things for the same reasons. Sometimes, we will even do the same things, for different reasons. And that's what true leadership is all about. And speaking up. It's not just about becoming a leader, we don't speak up because we want to lead necessarily, we speak up when we speak up. But we need to remember, if the point is not that we're trying to force other people to believe what we believe and do what we say is true, and do what we believe is right and comfortable, then what is the point you might be asking yourself, and what I want you all to begin considering is the power in allowing other people to see our full humanity to experience that. And to have that truth, that reality in their face so much that they cannot deny any more that this is a truth that people live, and that they then get the opportunity as a sovereign human being, to look at their own life, take into account what they believe in what they're doing, and what convictions they might have after now seeing this truth in other people, and how other people are living life in a different way. And thriving, and creating things that are beautiful in the world and doing things that are beautiful in the world, and being able to see, hey, listen, what I believe is just that it's a belief. It's not the total truth, and they will evolve and they will grow. But here's here's the thing, because of the fact that we've seen the predominant, I would say role modeling of speaking up being about leading people and forcing convictions and beliefs on people. We don't see the value and speaking up to just allow another person to make their own authentic decisions about what they want to do with their life with more facts included, and this is the point of speaking up my friends. It's not to force people to do what you believe is comfortable, right and true. And it's not to you You know, pressure people into having to change, but it's about allowing the opportunity for growth. And the other side of this coin is this when someone speaks up, and tells their truth. So often, we go in one direction or the other, it's either, okay, I should listen, okay, that's true, I need to change this about my life, I need to change this about my life, I need to change this about my life. Because we feel can we feel, I don't know, guilty or ashamed because of something that they're saying that we never considered before. We either go in that direction, or we go in the direction of Oh, my God, I can't believe this person is saying this. And they're challenging my beliefs. And I'm like, Oh, they're gonna change this about the world. And I don't even like it. And I'm like, God, I can't handle this right here, we need to shut that down. And so we have this canceled culture thing going on, where when someone speaks up about what they believe, and we don't like it, we shut them down. Instead of hearing everything that they're saying, and understanding that they are a human being who has these beliefs about the world for a reason, we don't have to believe that those reasons are correct, or right, or virtuous, but they have them for a reason. And when we can understand that reason, we can work with them, cooperate with them, towards common goals, towards creating things together. Even while we have separate beliefs, working side by side, we can work together, we can understand each other more, and allow the space for people to decide on their own. What they want to change about their beliefs, not force it on them, not try and hurry up and make it comfortable for everybody by making it you know, these very homogeneous mixtures of beliefs. Because we believe that this is this is so crucial that you know, everyone needs to believe the same thing. So it's comfortable for everybody. If we can just let that idea go and recognize that we can believe different things, but we can still work together. And the other side to this is, for those of you out there, I want you to recognize in your life, where you might be part of the popular majority of beliefs in the area where you live in the country where you live. And I want you to recognize the abuse of power that people around you are using, and that you might be using, because of your privilege of being part of the majority to manipulate and slowly force. Other people who have dissenting opinions, to shut up, sit down, don't rock the boat, and just do what everyone else is doing. So that you can be part of the group too. I want you to notice in your life, where it's so just understood that what you believe is true is true. And that therefore when someone speaks up about it, you have the urge to either walk away and ignore it or shut it down as fast as possible. Because that's not what we believe here. And instead of taking the opportunity to understand another person's humanity, to understand that there are other truths in this life, other than yours. And just because you can enforce a thought, a belief a behavior on other people, because it makes you more comfortable. Because you can recognize it easier in your own beliefs and values, that doesn't make it the right thing to do. And I want you to see where you have allowed yourself to become so comfortable, and just riding the wave of the majority, that you've also lost your ability to formulate your own opinions about life, and to speak up not because it's going to be accepted and popularized and made into some sort of canon somewhere that everyone's going to follow and believe and become the structure of, you know, social life as it is in the country where you live, the city where you live, the village where you live, whatever it is, that's not the point of speaking up. And that the point of speaking up is to be fully seen, to be fully known, and to say, Hey, I get that everyone believes this, and that it's really super comfortable for us to just all follow along, for the sake of unity for the sake of, you know, solidarity community, but we can have solidarity and have differing beliefs. This week, I want you all to really take a look at where in your life number one, you might not be speaking up, because you're afraid that it won't be accepted. And to recognize that that's not the point of speaking up. And for those of you out there who can so easily conform into the majority view of the area where you live the culture where you live, the society where you live, I want you to begin to look at where you have lost your voice and your ability to have an opinion simply because you don't want to be the one that's ostracize ostracized or shaking the boat or causing everyone to look you like. Can't believe you just said that. Now you're going to make some people angry because people are going to be like, that's not what we believe here. Come on now. Sit back down, let's be comfortable. And you're afraid to speak up because of that. And where in your life, are you surviving life simply because you're afraid of the truth that you hold within you being known. My friends, we all are born with sensitivities to certain energies in the world. Some of us have sensitive sensitivities to things on one end of the spectrum, some on the other. And it's designed to be that way to balance each other out. Because the point is for us all to recognize that none of us are ever going to be 100%. Right? In this life, it's impossible. And the sooner we can recognize that, the sooner that we can recognize that the point of speaking up is to open up dialogue, to open up questions around beliefs, that we're just surviving without even thinking about, is there another possibility? Is there more? Is there something we are forgetting? Is there a value that we are neglecting, stepping on pushing down for the sake of going with the flow of not rocking the boat of following the majority voice? I want you all to begin to notice and consider this in your life? Where are you not speaking up? And where are you speaking up too much simply because you know that your voice will get action? Because it's the it's the popular majority vote? Where are you not being quiet and listening? Because you're afraid of hearing another opinion? You're afraid of realizing that there's more truth out there than what you currently believe? And that that will create cognitive dissonance and feel uncomfortable? Where are you using your voice? To silence other people's ability to use there's and where are you allowing the louder more popular voice in your community, country city, wherever to cause you to sit back and say, No, I shouldn't talk about that. That's no, that's going to ruffle too many feathers. Too many people are going to be upset about that. I shouldn't I shouldn't I shouldn't speak up about that. No, that would be bad. I might be chastised. I might be ostracized, I might be banned from the group, be snubbed, be canceled, this whole cancel culture thing you guys, I just really need for you all to begin to understand, just because there is a majority opinion out there that we don't like. And we're now realizing we don't like it does not give us the right to shut them down from speaking their truth. It is our job to hear their truth and understand where their misunderstandings have come in, and help offer them the opportunity to see that. But it is never our job to force them to either believe what we now believe and change, or we're canceling you are shutting down your voice, you no longer get to speak. Because when we do that, we're simply doing what the people that were canceling were doing before, we're no better, we're making no change. There's no change there. It's simply resistance and another color. So my friends, I want you to begin thinking about the fact that yes, this year, make it a year of putting in your dues, choosing the discomfort and one of the ways you're going to put in the dues. And in shoes discomfort is by speaking up in situations where you have convictions, where you've been silent about it, because you were afraid of how it would be received by the group by the popular voice speaking up there. And recognizing that the point of it is not to force the group to change to force people in the group to change. So when you don't get that result, you don't think Oh, see, that was bad advice. I shouldn't have done that I should have just sat here and been quiet so that everyone would think that I just believe what everyone else believes. And I'm comfortable on YOLO go with the flow. And oh my god, it's so easy. And as we learn, we love everybody and get along. And that's not the point of speaking up. And I want for more of us to begin to see that when we speak up. And we're not agreed with we're not well received, that we've done our job. And that we're still there to speak up and continue to speak up and continue to speak up, continue to remind the group around us, Hey, are we forgetting about this over here? are we forgetting about this over here. And let other people when you speak up, be sovereign human beings that get to take your voice and choose where they want to start shifting their views if they want to at all. Because this is a lesson I feel like so many of us are not learning is that when we force people to believe something, because it makes us more comfortable when we share the same beliefs when we force groups of people to just go with the flow, follow along and believe what we believe. It always leads us back to the same place. People fed up with having to shut up and just go with the flow and survive a life that someone else told them that they have to survive. Why don't we break the cycle? Why are we not breaking the cycle and the reason we're not breaking the cycle is because we keep forgetting that the point of speaking up the point of using our voice is not to convince or manipulate others. It's to allow the truth to be known and allow other people to make sovereign and empowered decisions about what they want to do with it. And for those of us that have power and privilege, because we're part of the majority view, are you using that to shut down voices that are supposed to be heard? Because there's truth there, too. And this whole cancel culture crap. Why don't we Cancel Cancel culture? That's what I've got to say about it. Cancel, cancel culture, because, my friends, if your whole entire point of speaking up of challenging views, is to silence their voice, you're no better than the people that were silencing yours. When we reach a space of openness and understanding and recognizing there are going to be people that have differing views than me, can I allow them to have their differing views, not allow their differing views to force me to have to do things that I don't want to do, but allow for them to believe what they want to believe? Can I do that and still speak up, still speak up and not be part of the popular opinion, and recognize that's the point. It's not about changing other people's opinions, beliefs, or actions. That's what I've got for you all today. Speak up. But speak up to open up dialogue, speak up to open up truth, not to go back into the same old pattern of just trying to silence other voices, so the yours can be the louder one. I love you all. Get out there and speak up this year. See you again here next week. Until then, ciao. Thank you for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed the content of this podcast. If you did, please subscribe so that you're one of the first people to know when I release a new episode each week. If you have any questions, or if you have interest in learning more about the coaching that I do with my clients one on one, then just head over to my website at WWW dot life coach seth.com that's www dot life coach seth.com there you're going to have the ability to reach out to me for questions that you might have or to book your free discovery call with me to discuss what one on one coaching with me might be like for you. You can also check out and order your copy of my book to get a taste of what I'm all about as a person and as a coach. I'm so happy that you joined us today and I hope to have you here again next week. So until then, let authenticity be the guide to your most unstoppable and fulfilling journey of life.